A Friend Who is Going to Miss Her Friend

                                                                                                                        February 22, 2013

Good Afternoon….

 

My name is Fran and like many of you, Debbie’s friend…well I would go as far as to say Debbie and I were best friends.  I always refer to Debbie as my best “Mom” friend.  Debbie and I met through our kids.  I am not sure our paths would have crossed if it weren’t for our kids. 

I can’t say for sure why we became friends….was it because we both were married to older men who love sports, (sorry Pete) was it because we both love margaritas, was it because we both were the same age or was it just meant to be.

 

Many people meet their best friends as young children playing on the playground, sitting next to each other in elementary school (which ironically both our sons, Jake and Derek do) or on a sports field.  But it took me 32 years to find my best friend, a friendship that lasted six years but will last a lifetime in my heart.

I am a friend who is going to miss her best friend.

 

I am going to miss…..

 

Sitting on the cold bleachers watching our sons play baseball…well not really watch because we talked the whole time and rarely knew the score when the game was over.

I am going to miss…..

Texting my friend late at night retelling a story about a bad parenting choice I made or how funny Si was on Duck Dynasty that night.

I am going to miss…..

Dreaming of the day we would both turn 40 on a beach in Key West sipping Margaritas

With our husbands at our side….because even though we would complain about them on a regular basis, we knew we would never want to spend a moment without them by our side.

I am going to miss….

 

The companionship of someone who really understood me and accepted me for all my quirks. 

 

I am a friend who is going to miss her best friend.

However, I am also a friend who was so touched by Debbie that….

I will always remember….

The infectious smile she had on her face no matter what.  It seemed that even when the cards were stacked against her (and they seemed to be that way often) always found a way to smile through it.

I will always remember….

 

The sarcastic and sassy humor Debbie had on a regular basis.  She would get a little twinkle in her crystal blue eyes when she was up to no good.

I will always remember….

How she had a memory like an elephant…she is the friend that would always remember to celebrate EVERY holiday, a friend who would always remember your birthday and the friend who always remembered how your husband loved to imitate Vanilla Ice after a couple of beverages.

 

I am a friend who also knows that Debbie’s legacy will live on.  Debbie is alive each and every day through her beautiful children.  I see Debbie through Jake’s inner strength, Zach’s carefree lifestyle and Nick’s sassiness.  Debbie is with us every day whether we can see her or not.

 

Because of Debbie, I know I will drink a few more margaritas and listen to Darius Rucker a little more often….

 

I know that when the world seems to be crashing down around me I will dig a little bit deeper and fight a little bit harder

 

Because of Debbie I know I will be a better person, friend, wife and mother.  I will be a better person because our paths crossed. 

Because of Debbie, I suspect that we will all be a little more resilient in face of adversity; we will smile more when the skies are grey and we will hug our loved ones a little tighter.

 

I am a friend who also has come to realize that because Debbie was such an extraordinary person, friend, wife and mother that God not only choose her to be an amazing Mom to three wonderful sons here on earth but also someone who would watch over all the fantastically wonderful kids in heaven who need someone to teach them, do crafts with them or just support them in all things.

 

She has a special place in all of our hearts.  In fact, she sent me a message through our new favorite website Pinterest, that she would like everyone to leave here today with…..

It is a message from one friend, Pooh, to his best friend Piglet.

If ever there comes a day when we can’t be together,

Keep me in your heart and I will be there forever.

 

Debbie you are forever in my heart.  I love you…..

 

A Simple Plea

This is our friend Debbie Bendorf.  We met on a baseball field in 2006.  She and her husband Pete are good people.

Debbie and I were newbie baseball moms going to practices and games with the desire for our sons to be the superstars of the team or at least not be the ones picking flowers in the outfield.  We were just regular Moms, wanting the best for our sons; dreaming of many more years of friendship between our boys and between ourselves.  But what I didn’t know at the time was that it wasn’t going to be our sons who were the superstars, SHE was going to be the superstar.

While pregnant with her third child, Debbie began having issues with her right shoulder.  Right after Nick was born, she was diagnosed with osteosarcoma (bone cancer) and began the fight of her life.  With each new hurdle placed in front of her, she always kept a smile on her face and a fight in her heart.  She continuously came to any sporting event with a great story about her three boys (well four if you are counting Pete) and an infectious smile that lit up the gym, field or playground.  In fact, people who didn’t know her wouldn’t ever believe she had cancer.

As time progressed so did her cancer and now, after five and a half years,  it has unfortunately taken over her body.  With each round of chemo her body is shutting down and the side effects more debilitating.  On Thursday, January 31^st with the support of her amazing husband and family, she made the decision to stop chemotherapy and go into Hospice care.

And this is where life is very unfair.  It’s unfair that she is only 38 years old, only 38 and struggling with what most people take for granted (walking up the stairs, making a meal for her family or simply taking a breath on her own)! 

She is a mother of three amazing boys (Jake, Zach and Nick) who, like any mother, has dreams of seeing her children accomplish all the great things in life she has dreamed for them since birth. (Seeing them hit their first home run, graduating high school and growing into mature men who call their Moms every Sunday!).

She is an amazing friend who can brighten your day no matter your mood or situation. She is the friend who always remembers when your birthday is, the friend who always remembers what your favorite drink is and the friend who loves to talk trashy reality TV.  Life is just so unfair.

So, this leads me to the purpose of this site.  The reality is cancer is evil and so are its financial effects on a family.  After Jake was born, Debbie made the choice to leave teaching and to stay home and raise one boy, then two, then three all the while Pete was working as a public school teacher and football coach.  They are an amazing family of five, supported by a public school educator, living in Northern Virginia, going through a very difficult time, and we can only imagine the financial pressures.  We want to help and we want you to help us.  We are simply asking for a donation to assist their family with all the things we can’t think of that they might need. If you don’t feel like donating but want to help in another way please contact me directly (fcfurr@gmail.com), but we believe every dollar will help them support each other and provide a little breathing room as they go through this difficult time. 

Thank you once again for helping and keeping Debbie and her family in your thoughts and prayers.  Your kindness and generosity is appreciated beyond words. 

Humbly,

Fran Furr
A friend who is going to miss her friend